Halim Naeem.com

How to Treat a Woman…

I do not profess to be an expert on Women. I doubt that anyone except Allah would claim that with confidence. But I do know how to treat a woman. There are a few basics to keep in mind that most people forget. These points are things that I have experienced throughout my lifetime through talking to people, taking in experiences, studying, reading, researching, and simply living the natural trial and errors of life.

What I have found is that women are much more experiential than men are. The experience of connecting and the rebeautification of self is what arouses at the deepest level. This translates into the connection between people. So how you connect with the female gender is paramount. The first thing is to have a proper intention. The proper intention is to get yourself closer to Allah with everything you do. Furthermore, if you can get the creation around you closer to Allah along with you, then that is better. The creation around you includes Women. You must want to get better, and closer to Allah in your interactions with women and the people. This must be the top priority. However it is not that simple because a decent portion of the women we meet daily we are attracted towards. Once a physical attraction comes into play, the the intention starts getting confabulated.

When we are able to move past this phase which goes in line with the Masculine Developmental Model and hold strong to our principles through our fortitude, then we are able to keep our three levels of respect. The first level of respect is the respect for God. This means getting towards a level of belief where you begin to live life as if Allah is right next to you. The second level of respect is that towards yourself. This is where your principles come into play from the Masculine Development Model. When you have principles for yourself then, regardless of how attractive someone is and how seductive they become, it does not sway you from your own personal beliefs and values. A man without principles is nothing. The third level of respect is that towards the woman. The woman comes last because if there is no respect for God or self, that whatever a woman wants to get from you, or get for you, she can get it, even if it is against your own will. She can get it against your own will because a man without self respect or low principles has no internal foundation that can weather the storm that people and their desires will throw upon you. Your self respect is the foundation of your principles. Your principles are the foundation of your manhood. Your manhood is the foundation of your being and who you are as a man in society.

Women have that intuition, but many times, they do not know it. The base of nature for a woman is to draw herself to the rebeautification and the reinforcement of the value of her soul. That comes in infinite forms throughout this world in the hundreds and thousands of groups of people that inhabit this planet. The one common denominator is that a woman want to consistently be beautified (in her own eyes, and her own way) and to reinforce her value (in her own eyes and her own way). In this particular society, most women are taught and socialized nowadays to be attractive, and really, nothing more. Attractiveness and physical desirability is the primary channel of drawing the attention needed to rebeautify and reinforce value of herself. So men are socialized to treat women on the basis of their physical and sexual desirability.

There are a few problems with that. The first big issue is that the physique has nothing to do with the woman and many of us men reading this know that all too well. Males simply get the experience they want from the body of their desire, then they move on to another one of their liking. This leaves a trail of unfulfilled and devalued souls. Not only are their souls devalued, but us men begin to devalue and hate ourselves for funnelling our self worth and our masculinity to simply how many women do we got numbers for and how many can we get naked with at will. Most people get this perception perpetuated by mass media and their peers. It gets to a point where the males of society (as in most males here in America) feel in the depth of their heart that all (or a significant portion) of masculinity is simply how many woman can you sleep with. The people who feel that way are severely confused souls.

There are a few basics after the fundamental levels of respect in how to treat a woman. The first thing is honesty, which includes being straightforward, not in a rude way, but simple and straight. The second thing is to simply be yourself. I know millions of people say this, and one of the reasons I have come to realize is that you will draw people to you (if single) or draw attention to you (if not single) that is not suitable for who you are as a person and where your situation is in life. The second thing is to make sure you are pleasant and approachable. I say this to my Muslim brothers especially because sisters and women who are in danger will more likely seek help and protection from you (which is your God given duty as a man). If you are cold and unapproachable, she may not seek help, protection, or much needed information from you since she thinks that you are not a helping spirit. Now this may draw some unwanted attractive attention to you, however, the three levels of respect are your shield from unwanted evils that is the source of your personality. The greater good is the ability for a sister or a woman to feel they have real men to depend on and protect her if in danger.

The last simple thing is to treat a woman more than the desirable piece of flesh that stand before you. There really is much more to her than that. There is much more to her that will benefit you. Remember in the Quran that Woman (Eve) was created from Adam's body. So there is some secret, some part of ourselves that reside within them that can most certainly be the key to our success if we only knew. There will be more pieces on how to properly treat a woman, but this should suffice for now.

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