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Anger and Muslim Masculinity…

"A person who is angered quickly shows a sign that their ego still has a grasp over them"

I found this saying to be one of the most profound statements that I have heard in a long time. Like many of us, I come from a family line that has a quick temper. Anger is something that I deal with and try to control to the best of my ability on a daily basis. The Muslim and Non Muslim men nowadays see anger as something very masculine, like it is a strength. I beg to differ. As stated in the masculine development model, the epitome of strength is self control. People can and do control others when they know what emotional buttons to push. It is arguably one of the most prominent ways that women with bad intent control men in detrimental ways.

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said that if a person gets angry, that they should make abolution as the water can cool down the fire that is burning inside. He further said for people to sit down. If a person is still angry, then he said for the person to lay down until calm. The Prophet (s) also said that for a long term treatment of anger, that a person should take one spoonful of honey everyday. I am sure that there are physical and metaphysical effects of these actions in regards to anger. There most certainly needs to be a serious effort to control one's anger as it jumbles our normal judgement as we say and do things that we usually regret in that temporary fit of emotion. We usually do these things to hurt the target person as much or perhaps more than we ourselves feel that we have been hurt.

Anger is not a pure emotion. A pure emotion can be something like fear, joy, sadness, guilt and so on. Anger is a reactionary emotion. Anger comes about when a pure emotion is emitted. It is usually used as a defense mechanism to guard the hurt or sadness that has occured. Men are socialized to show the strength needed, which in many societies usually show as anger. We brothers want people to respect our manhood and many times and with many brothers we are taught and trained in this society that if respect is not shown to us, then it is usually beaten either physically or emotionally out of the person who performs the disrespect. We must be careful of where this anger is coming from, because it becomes a very selfish thing that makes everything and everyone revolve around our deserving the utmost happiness, respect and honor. That is only given to us by Allah.

We must control ourselves as much as possible and see anger on a consistent basis as something that puts us out of control and not in it. There is a anger for good reasons, however most of the time that we men get angry, it is not about something that is in line with our proper principles in the Masculine Development Model. Always remember, a man without principles is no Man at all. If our anger is engineered by something outside of the principles that we have laid forth to attain positive male development, than that is a useless anger that we need not give time towards. I myself work on this everyday and perhaps the reader is better at controlling oneself than the writer. Nonetheless we cannot be a complete Muslim Men if our anger and tempers have control over our hearts.

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