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Emotional Control and Muslim Masculinity…

A man that can control himself can control his universe. Emotional control is arguably the most significant deficit we have within Muslim Masculinity on this planet. The globalization of western Euro-American culture confines most sentimental emotions into one manifestation: Anger. It does not seem to matter of a man is hurt, sad, depressed, anxious, scared or anything else. The acceptable way to maintain this deformed definition of masculinity is to be angry and act without reason.

We blame our primitive behavior on our anger which does no good towards our personal and masculine development. Many of our males say that they have a short temper or are quick to be angered as if it is some type of strength. It most certainly is not a strength to be angered almost instantly. The Prophet (s) was approached by a man. The man asked the Prophet (s) for some advice to develop his faith. The Prophet (s) said "do not get angry." Then the man asked for some other advice, the Prophet (s) again said "do not get angry." The same thing happened for a third time as well. Many lessons come out of this. I can name a few.

The Prophet (s) got angry many times in his life. His (s) anger and the anger of most males in this day are completely different. The Prophet (s) was not angered on his own accord. His (s) anger was coming from someone knowing violating the faith that Allah set out for the world. Most of us get angry because of something selfish such as our own feelings or whims. Anger is not bad, it is a very good and useful tool to fire up the soul towards something good, be it defending the people, the religion, and under proper circumstances, defending the self. Anger should be used in the proper portions. A human being cannot thrive and be angry continuously. A human being can love, hope, appreciate, care and be happy continuously and thrive.

These are emotions which connect us to the creation. Anger is an emotion that isolates. Be it that we isolate ourselves from others or a small group or band of people towards others. The point of anger is a disconnect between one thing and the other. A man who can have control of the internal fire that is his anger can control many other aspects of his life. Since most men cannot control themselves, we compensate our lack of control for showing how much tangible power and ownership over things we possess in the world. The need for compensating means that there is something missing. What is missing is that naturally as Human Beings we have to have a control over our internal system. Failure to do so results in an imbalance in the person's nature and the nature of things around the person.

We must do as the prophet (s) said when we get angry. The first thing is to perform abolution as water can wipe out the fire that is our anger. If we are still angry, then we are to sit down. If we are still angry, we then are to lay down. Stupid things happen when a man is standing up and active while being angred. The Prophet (s) brilliantly shows to the constant act of trying to control oneself by making abolution, sitting and laying. While those acts in themselves may not completely rid us of our anger, we have demonstrated some level of self control within our physical actions. Hopefully from that first step towards the control that we are supposed to demonstrate as properly developed men.

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