Anger
Tests Build Character…
It has been a long time, a very long time since my last post. I have had a lot of time to think about life and what is important. Our development towards masculinity is a lifelong one. There will be many tests in the way. One may wonder, "why do there have to be so many tests in life? Why cannot there be peace througought life?" Let us remember, the predominant characteristic of Masculinity is strength. Someone who is very strong has to maintain thier strength. A bodybuilder must consistently put his muscles under significant stress in order to keep the strength that he has.
Entitlement and Muslim Masculinity…
Part of Muslim Masculinity is this notion of entitlement. Entitlement is essentially feeling you deserve something without working for it. This is an issue for most men. Muslim Masculinity does not escape this problem as we are still human beings in need of Masculine Development. Feeling entitled to something is quite frankly one of the most disgusting characteristics to me. The weird thing is, throughout life changing experiences I see in myself how entitled I think I am to certain things. It is still disgusting. I know when we see someone else doing wrong, we point the finger and get angry. The question I have is do we have the same reaction towards ourselves when we are culprits of undesirable actions?
Self Control and Islamic Masculinity (Part 3)…
The secret of self control towards achieving Islamic Masculinity is submission to God. In submitting to Allah we do not simply limit our power to our own carnal bodies. Furthermore, we do not limit our power to relying on others who believe in our peceived power, status, or financial independence. When we properly submit, then we only limit our potential to whatever God wants to give us.
Self Control in Muslim Masculinity (Part 2)…
The Prophet S Said: "One who guarantees me about that which is between his jaws i.e., tongue and that which is between his thighs i.e., private parts, I am responsible (guarantor) for his Paradise." (Bukhari) This is the ultimate in self control. Self control begins in controlling what you say as we stated in the last post. Controlling the tongue is something I struggle with every day. It is so hard to simply keep my mouth shut when I have that fiery feeling like I need to say something. This is especially the case when we are angry or have some negativity to let out.
Self Control in Muslim Masuclinity (part 1)…
Verily all the keys to passing through the trials and tribulations in our life lie within self control. Furthermore self control must be based in some type of principle. There is no self control without the principle to back that internal struggle. The first stage of the Masculine Development Model is Principles. For without principles to believe in, all other things in life are useless. Self Control is the protection of all our principles. When we lose our self control then we lose everything that we are.
Emotional Control and Muslim Masculinity…
A man that can control himself can control his universe. Emotional control is arguably the most significant deficit we have within Muslim Masculinity on this planet. The globalization of western Euro-American culture confines most sentimental emotions into one manifestation: Anger. It does not seem to matter of a man is hurt, sad, depressed, anxious, scared or anything else. The acceptable way to maintain this deformed definition of masculinity is to be angry and act without reason.
Confidence & Arrogance (Part 1 of 2)…
Real men have confidence, not arrogance. They are two different things. The dangerous thing about the two constructs is that many times people perceive them to be the same thing from observing behavior. According to Webster's dictionary confidence is defined as: 1. A feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances 2. Faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way. So we see that there is a faith in one's abilities or situation. Arrogance is defined as: 1. An attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.
Unity: It Starts With U (Part 2 of 5)…
Many years ago, my father said something to me that was deeply connected to what the prophet said. It has influenced my work in psychology. He was telling me of a man who had become Muslim, but had improper development before reverting. He said of the person “he felt like a nobody before entering Islam, and after reverting, he still acts like a nobody.” Abu Hurairah (r) narrated that the Prophet (s) said, “Those who were the best in the pre-lslamic period of ignorance will be the best in Islam provided they comprehend the religious knowledge.” (Bukhari 4/572 and Muslim). I have heard amazing stories of change. What connects all those stories is the people wanted the change for themselves first.
Fortitude towards Islamic Masculinity…
Remember we talked about the difference between Islamic Masculinity and Muslim Masculinity. Islamic Masculinity is the goal, the endpoint where Allah wants us to be as men of his creation. Muslim masculinity is the road to get to that goal. A significant checkpoint on that road to the completion of manhood and the desirable state of Islamic Masculinity is Fortitude. Webster defines fortitude as strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage. It is the next step after a man attaches to and lives by his principles. Once a man has some principles, the next situation to occur is that those principles will be tested. This is where the adversity, pain, and other obstacles come into play. A man needs to have the internal strength to bear the burdens of these various tests of ones character. Once the principles are in place they must be assessed to determine how strong those principles are, thus determining how strong you are as a man.
Male Bonding and Muslim Masculinity…
I was talking to some brothers yesterday and eventually we got onto the subject of the struggles of being married and Muslim Masculinity. I guess you could call it Male Bonding. I had some extra time this past weekend so I went to the local Muslim Owned restaurant called the Fish Dock. I stayed there for most of the day which was about 5pm to 11:30pm. We started discussing community issues and then it blended into personal lives.
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