Compromise versus Emasculation
Emotional Control and Muslim Masculinity…
A man that can control himself can control his universe. Emotional control is arguably the most significant deficit we have within Muslim Masculinity on this planet. The globalization of western Euro-American culture confines most sentimental emotions into one manifestation: Anger. It does not seem to matter of a man is hurt, sad, depressed, anxious, scared or anything else. The acceptable way to maintain this deformed definition of masculinity is to be angry and act without reason.
Confidence & Arrogance (Part 1 of 2)…
Real men have confidence, not arrogance. They are two different things. The dangerous thing about the two constructs is that many times people perceive them to be the same thing from observing behavior. According to Webster's dictionary confidence is defined as: 1. A feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances 2. Faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way. So we see that there is a faith in one's abilities or situation. Arrogance is defined as: 1. An attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.
Unity: It begins with U (Part 5 of 5)…
We must realize the potential that Allah put in each of us to be his representatives on this planet and act out his will by bringing peace and unity to all the creation. Sustaining harmony in nature without abusing Allah’s creatures is how we provide unity to the creation. We must separate the evil forces within our souls and purify ourselves with the word of Allah. Our men need to be real men and show other males how to develop into men. Our women must do the same to the female.
Unity: It Starts with U (Part 4 of 5)…
There is great news. Even though there is division within the Muslims, the great news is that a portion of the Muslim Ummah is united and will always be united. Allah says so in the Quran about this section of Muslims called Mu’minoon (believers). Allah says in the 49th chapter (Al Hujarat) in the 10th verse: The Believers are but a single Brotherhood: So make peace and harmony between your two (contending) brothers; and fear Allah, that ye may receive Mercy. Allah declares that we are always united if we are believers.
Unity: It Starts With U (Part 3 of 5)…
My father-in-law told me something wise one day. He said the problems the Muslims have today is because the Muslim males do not know how to be men. He said if the males were properly developed Muslim men, then the females would follow suit as it is the female’s nature to follow the one who desires her (the male). Properly developed men are those who are best to their families. Abu Hurairah (r) narrated that the Prophet (s) said: “Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.” (Tirmidhi 278, 628, 3264 and Abu Dawud).
Unity: It Starts With U (Part 2 of 5)…
Many years ago, my father said something to me that was deeply connected to what the prophet said. It has influenced my work in psychology. He was telling me of a man who had become Muslim, but had improper development before reverting. He said of the person “he felt like a nobody before entering Islam, and after reverting, he still acts like a nobody.” Abu Hurairah (r) narrated that the Prophet (s) said, “Those who were the best in the pre-lslamic period of ignorance will be the best in Islam provided they comprehend the religious knowledge.” (Bukhari 4/572 and Muslim). I have heard amazing stories of change. What connects all those stories is the people wanted the change for themselves first.
Male Bonding and Muslim Masculinity…
I was talking to some brothers yesterday and eventually we got onto the subject of the struggles of being married and Muslim Masculinity. I guess you could call it Male Bonding. I had some extra time this past weekend so I went to the local Muslim Owned restaurant called the Fish Dock. I stayed there for most of the day which was about 5pm to 11:30pm. We started discussing community issues and then it blended into personal lives.
Anger and Muslim Masculinity…
"A person who is angered quickly shows a sign that their ego still has a grasp over them"
I found this saying to be one of the most profound statements that I have heard in a long time. Like many of us, I come from a family line that has a quick temper. Anger is something that I deal with and try to control to the best of my ability on a daily basis. The Muslim and Non Muslim men nowadays see anger as something very masculine, like it is a strength. I beg to differ. As stated in the masculine development model, the epitome of strength is self control. People can and do control others when they know what emotional buttons to push. It is arguably one of the most prominent ways that women with bad intent control men in detrimental ways.
Hard Work
Hard work is something that is part of our destiny to our completion of Manhood. Putting hard work and making a difference in the world through your efforts is a trait that we as men must naturally have. Part of the emasculation that occurs in the impoverished and the minority communities is a lazy and bad work ethic. I am not talking about people who do not have jobs or are going through rough times. I am simply stating a mental and spiritual phase that unfortunately most of our brothers in humanity possess. We as men must move beyond our state as it is unhealthy for us to have other women, children and men who do not invest in our community or loved ones make decisions and provide for us.
Fear and Responsibility
The way that we handle fear and responsibility are vital to our journey to the completion of our manhood. Both fear and responsibility are present inside all of us men, but what separates men from boys is how we deal with fear and how we handle our responsibility. I am defining fear as a chronic and potentially crippling avoidance to engage in someone or something. Merriam-Webster Online defines fear as an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger. I define fear as something different than being scared. Being scared can most certainly become a function or manifestation of fear, but it can also be something temporary.
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