What is in fact being tease by the woman and the life of this world is something that cannot be touched or held. It is the peace and pleasure of God. We as men are fooled by the notion that if you smoke this substance, if you lay with this woman, if you own this much stuff, then you will obtain that. This is completely false. So why do most of our brothers go along with this charade? It is a lack of spiritual sight. Everything in masculinity comes from the first stage of the Masculine Development Model: Principles. When a man holds certain principles then it gives the foundation for you to see the truth. Most of us have experienced that the truth of Allah is not as it seems to us. When we lack principles, then it takes away our vision and our spiritual foresight. We are no longer aware of things that make sense and start to rationalize things that do not make common sense. This is when we know we are being tantalized.
 

Life is just a tease. We make it a tease because we tease ourselves into this irrational thinking that if we indulge in something physical, then spiritual pleasure will be the result. Most people are conviced if you give them enoough money then, they will be happy in their heart. Muhammad S said that 'contentment is true wealth'. Contentment is the spiritual state of being pleased with what Allah has given us as human beings.  So no matter what we have as individuals, we should do our utmost to be happy with it, especially when God blesses us with abundance.  If we keep buying into the phony power of the almighty dollar, sexual encounter, drug, or power, then we will be in eternal tantalization and will never get the carrot at the end of the rope.

©2010 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

The beard is apart of Islamic Masculinity. However those who cannot grow a beard can also fall within that realm of Islamic Masculinity. The Prophet S said for us to grow and maintain our beards. He S did that himself. However, there are many interpretations in the schools of thought about what growing and maintaining a beard means. I do not intend to explore those arguements and nuances, but I wish to impress the point that we should submit and intend whatever the Prophet S intends for us to do. We have to understand that Islamic Masculinity is about the submission to something greater, and that greater being is God. When God tell us to obey Muhammad S, then we submit to that.

The intention to have a beard (in some capacity) is more masculine than NOT intending to have a beard (in some capacity). I know the trends and the women are saying that a beard is scratchy, primitive, nasty, hairy, and impure. I know a lot of brothers have legitimate fears that they will repel women or will not find the female of their dreams. I totally understand brothers, and I was very much in that state of mind not to long ago. Do know that Allah has someone laid out for you, and that person is the best one for you, though we may not percieve.

Do know that there are plenty of women who just want real men beard or no beard. We should focus more on our masculinity than how we appear to people. So long as we are modest and clean and respectful in our demeanor, that will speak volumes more that having the sparkling 360's, tight muscle shirts and extra loose pants. Do know my brothers, that if your pants are loose, be they on your skin or in your heart, then women who are loose in their modesty will draw to you.

So wear your beard, however you like to, but wear it and submit your pride and yourself to the order of Allah and the Prophet S, a man that loves you more that you love yourself, though we do not perceive. At the same time, do not call your Muslim brothers kafir if they do not have or wear beards. Do not condemn people to the fires of Hell, especially if you cannot guarantee immunity from the fire that burns forever. Let us focus on important things like hmm.... lets see... I know.... Praying five times a day!

Part of Islamic Masculinity is the submission of everything we do in our life and all that is in our spirit. So we wear our beards with pride, and more importantly (because Allah said it was the most important thing) praying to him. Treat the people with respect and good character, wheather you have a beard or not because those things are incumbent upon you. Focusing on hairs upon your face is Muslim Masculinity, but wearing those hairs the way the Prophet S did and the submission to God's command to obey his most beloved creation, that, my brothers is Islamic Masculinity.

©2010 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

When we do our proper acts of worship, such as the prayer, then Allah gives our soul a different perspective of life. We start to feel differently about things. We start to believe the reality that we have more control over our lives. Things start to have a rhythm and flow in a certain direction. When situations occur, we do not see them as disconnected or mere anomalies of nature. We start to see the events in our life as a theme of our development. Let us remember Halim's Masculine Development model. Certain things happen to people who are developing the first stage which is our principles. Different events will occur when we are in the next phase being Fortitude. Self Control is about the third stage, which is Composure.

Composure is complete self control. It is the ability to control all things within ourself. In doing so, wer are given more responsibility towards the other creation including people. The most important thing we must control is the spritiual desire within ourselves. This part of ourself is called the Nafs. The Nafs is the part of ourselves that has an infinite level of greed and desire. It is the 'monster' within us. It is the source of our lust, our sloth, our gluttony, and our arrogance which will lead to hate of all things and ultimately, hatred of ourselves. It also seats the baser emotions like anger, jealousy, our malice, violent imagery. The pure emotions come from the pure and good part of ourselves like pure joy and happiness, sadness, fear, pain, love, etc.

The more that we sin, the less control we will have in our lives. This is because our Nafs will gain more power over ourselves. We will start to have a corrupted lens of the world and its people. We will then start to feel that the world hates us or is out to get us when in fact it is we who hate ourselves. This is where distorted displays of manhood start to show themselves. It is because we do not know how to show power, strength, and control with humility. We buy in to the society's definition of strength and masculine. Through the sinning of others, they influence the definitions that we have of ourselves. In fact, it should be ourselves that influence others. The anger, the anxiety, and other manifestations of fear are signs that we possess little control over ourselves. The way to acheive this is to worship, pray, and look at all things as connected. Once we put our faith in Allah, our situation will change for the better. We will experience a deeper level of calm. Others will have that experience when they are around us. When we gain more control of ourselves, we will have control over everything.

©2010 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

There is a tremendous amount of wisdom and lessons that can be taken from this statement. There are things that happen inside of us that lead us to say bad things or useless things. In this statement the Prophet S guided us to have control over the gateway of emitting the tests that we have inside ourselves. That is to say, we may get angry or feel wronged or slighted. We may even be right, but the Prophet S instructed us to guard the tongue that conveys and spreads that negativity all over. This shows us that Allah will test us on the inside. That is inevitable. However, it is what we do with the tests that we have on the inside that we are judged for.

The same goes for our private parts. The Prophet S did not say "do not be attracted to women." He said to guard our genitals. Its not the attraction that is the sin. It is act we do because of our attraction. This puts the owership of salvation into our hands which is very healthy for us as men as we want to possess as much control over our destiny as possible. Sometimes the urge may seem unstoppable and impossible to resist. For some of us, it may approach that status, but most of us know deep down, there is something deeper. The proof is this: after you are done having satisfying sex, then what do you think about? Is your mind revolving around the next time you will have sex or does your mind wander to other matters? For most of us, we mentally move on from that act until the next time we are in a state of sexual arousal.

The control over these two simple pieces of flesh will guarantee us paradise. This is for a reason. It is not easy to contain the urges that flow out of these two parts of our anatomy.

©2010 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

We are taught to do four things to maintain our self control. In the next entry we will speak in detail about how controlling these four things will unlock ourselves to self control. These four things are making sure we eat less, sleep less, talk less (frivolously), and socialize less (frivolously). When a man can control these four things, then he is well on his way to total self control.

©2010 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

We blame our primitive behavior on our anger which does no good towards our personal and masculine development. Many of our males say that they have a short temper or are quick to be angered as if it is some type of strength. It most certainly is not a strength to be angered almost instantly. The Prophet (s) was approached by a man. The man asked the Prophet (s) for some advice to develop his faith. The Prophet (s) said "do not get angry." Then the man asked for some other advice, the Prophet (s) again said "do not get angry." The same thing happened for a third time as well. Many lessons come out of this. I can name a few.

The Prophet (s) got angry many times in his life. His (s) anger and the anger of most males in this day are completely different. The Prophet (s) was not angered on his own accord. His (s) anger was coming from someone knowing violating the faith that Allah set out for the world. Most of us get angry because of something selfish such as our own feelings or whims. Anger is not bad, it is a very good and useful tool to fire up the soul towards something good, be it defending the people, the religion, and under proper circumstances, defending the self. Anger should be used in the proper portions. A human being cannot thrive and be angry continuously. A human being can love, hope, appreciate, care and be happy continuously and thrive.

These are emotions which connect us to the creation. Anger is an emotion that isolates. Be it that we isolate ourselves from others or a small group or band of people towards others. The point of anger is a disconnect between one thing and the other. A man who can have control of the internal fire that is his anger can control many other aspects of his life. Since most men cannot control themselves, we compensate our lack of control for showing how much tangible power and ownership over things we possess in the world. The need for compensating means that there is something missing. What is missing is that naturally as Human Beings we have to have a control over our internal system. Failure to do so results in an imbalance in the person's nature and the nature of things around the person.

We must do as the prophet (s) said when we get angry. The first thing is to perform abolution as water can wipe out the fire that is our anger. If we are still angry, then we are to sit down. If we are still angry, we then are to lay down. Stupid things happen when a man is standing up and active while being angred. The Prophet (s) brilliantly shows to the constant act of trying to control oneself by making abolution, sitting and laying. While those acts in themselves may not completely rid us of our anger, we have demonstrated some level of self control within our physical actions. Hopefully from that first step towards the control that we are supposed to demonstrate as properly developed men.

©2010 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

We have been placed on this planet as representatives of Allah towards the creation. Every position of leadership is to represent and serve a certain contingency of other people. All leaders represent something or someone. What happens to most leaders is that leaders let their position get to their corrupted part of their soul. Leaders begin to think that they are in no need of the people or contingencies that they in fact are supposed to represent. We do the same thing towards God. We are placed here to represent what Allah does to the creation which is unconditionally benefit and prosper all that is around us. We have capabilities that enable us to conquer what is around us, and since we can do so, we engage in that behavior. We fall further into that corruption to a point where we neither are concious of God, nor do we even think that we are in need of Him. This is what we call arrogance.

Confidence functions like hope or faith in oneself and the abilities that are bestowed onto us. This proper context of confidence is not outside the realm of dependency on God. We still need Allah. We still look to him for help. At the same time, we still have faith that we can accomplish a task set out for us. For example, when I was younger (about 10 years old) I played on a football team. Every Saturday for two mothns I would go out with my team and compete against another team. Allah bestowed upon me and many of my other teammates a high level of talent in football for kids that age. So I would pray to God before each game to aid us in victory. At the same time, I also had a high level of confidence going into each game that we were going to win. This confidence was not without Allah's help, but it was a faith that my team and I were given something by God to defeat the opposing team. Arrogance is different in that a person would feel that they do not need the help of God or anyone else to win. They would feel that their ability was their own and is inherently better than most or even all others. Real men are confident, not arrogant.

We as men get pushed, urged, and seduced into being arrogant seemingly by every form or media (including people). Nearly all of us fall into it because in our distorted perception of manhood, we have fallen into thinking that this is a form of strength. Let us remember from the Masculine Development Model that the second step after having principles is possessing the fortitude to withstand all the forces that aim to diminish the principles we have. Ultimate strength is the control over self. When one can completely control the self, then no one can control him save God. This is because the only principles that can withstand the natural deviants and poisons of our Human Nature are the Principles of Allah. The higher the level and more developed one becomes on this path to masculinity, the more of the world that will be subjugated to him. It will be subjugated to him to spread mercy and not oppression.

©2010 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

We must be less selfish and more giving. We must be less arrogant and more humble. We bond in harmony with Allah’s creation through developing ourselves towards submitting to Allah. The angels and all the positive unseen forces will support the believers as will the rest of creation when we strive together to hold the rope of Allah. Perhaps we will experience unity in brotherhood and sisterhood that provides a sweetness in our being unlike anything the creation can offer. Perhaps we can experience this before we stand before Allah.

The Prophet (s) gave the clear and profound solution: Anas relates that the Prophet (s) said: “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” [Sahîh al-Bukhari and Sahîh Muslim]. When we follow that in every facet of our life, we will achieve the unity we seek. How does that unity look? The Prophet (s) shows that unity in his a profound portion of his last sermon. “All humankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab. Also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Know that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing should be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly. Do not, therefore, do injustice to yourselves. “ This is the vision for our community from the Prophet (s). When we work on ourselves to be capable of embodying that statement, then we will find our whole community united.

©2010 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

Mu’minoon are those who have attained faith, which is different than a Muslim. Allah says in the 49th chapter (Hujarat) verse 14: The desert Arabs say, "We believe." Say, "Ye have no faith; but ye (only) say, 'We have submitted our wills to Allah.' For not yet has Faith entered your hearts. But if ye obey Allah and His Messenger, He will not belittle aught of your deeds: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." Mu’minoon is in a much higher league than a Muslim. There are characteristics of spiritual development in a Mu’min that is different from a Muslim’s. One of those characteristics we have already discussed in that a believer never backbites. However, Muslims do backbite. It is a sin and we should ask forgiveness, but we are still Muslim if we do it. A believer stops being a believer if he does such an act. Lying is an act that a believer cannot perform. A Muslim however, can stay Muslim and lie. It is a sin, but again we are still Muslim. The list goes on. What you have are two different types of people.

There are two different levels of submissions to Allah. When we submit to Allah at the level of a Mu’min, then we automatically have the characteristics and requirements fulfilled to enter the house clean and pure. Further, we will speak of the good things in the house and remain silent about the bad since the Iman in our heart is thankful that Allah has put us in such a situation. Thus, the believers are united as Allah has said many times. We should pray that we join the community of the believers.

©2010 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

Our males who act tough yet have little esteem and confidence in themselves and their lord can perpetuate astronomical amounts of division and destruction. This is because the method of filling the void inside ourselves has no blessing in it. It goes against what the way Allah told us to change our condition. The women become an expression of our own wishes. If we do not keep ourselves modest and chaste, then our women will reflect that condition. People make their own decisions, but most choose to follow their own desires. One of the signs of following our own desires is leaving the way of the Prophet (s) and point the finger by spewing negativity into the world. It does not unite us, further it leaves us in a spiritually stagnant state, which is where Shaytan would like us to remain for eternity.

The solution to become united is clear. We get rid of our own filth inside ourselves. That means leave the sins that we know we do. We need to perform our five pillars to the utmost perfection we can give it. We then should leave that which Allah and his Prophet emphatically forbade. If that stage is reached, then we should begin doing the acts that Allah and his prophet believed desirable. Always remember, the strength of a building, like our pillars we have in Islam is not in the outside, it is the strength built within. Verily (as the Prophet (s) is oft quoted) our actions are judged based on our intentions (Bukhari & Muslim). So whoever goes on this journey to please Allah, then he will get what he wants. Whoever goes on this journey for a woman, he will get what he wants. Make sure the intents are pure before going down the path of development. Remember, we cannot reach our potential without the help of Allah.

This development takes time and it takes a tremendous amount of humility because we find out how much dirt is inside. This is why Allah said in the first chapter (Al Fatihah) and fifth verse: “You alone we worship and you alone we come to for help.” He also said in the 103rd chapter (Al Asr) in the first and second verse: “By time; verily mankind is at a loss.” My brothers and sisters, we are at a loss. This is our nature: to be at a loss without Allah. So do not be discouraged and feel too bad to come back to Allah for Allah is ever and infinitely merciful and He wants you to need Him. He created us to be united in our need of Him. When we feel like we do not need others and can sit on our so-called stools of piety and point fingers, it will only corrupt ourselves. We must rise above that, men and women to something better.

©2010 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.