Fatherhood
Unity: It Starts with U (Part 4 of 5)…
There is great news. Even though there is division within the Muslims, the great news is that a portion of the Muslim Ummah is united and will always be united. Allah says so in the Quran about this section of Muslims called Mu’minoon (believers). Allah says in the 49th chapter (Al Hujarat) in the 10th verse: The Believers are but a single Brotherhood: So make peace and harmony between your two (contending) brothers; and fear Allah, that ye may receive Mercy. Allah declares that we are always united if we are believers.
Unity: It Starts With U (Part 3 of 5)…
My father-in-law told me something wise one day. He said the problems the Muslims have today is because the Muslim males do not know how to be men. He said if the males were properly developed Muslim men, then the females would follow suit as it is the female’s nature to follow the one who desires her (the male). Properly developed men are those who are best to their families. Abu Hurairah (r) narrated that the Prophet (s) said: “Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.” (Tirmidhi 278, 628, 3264 and Abu Dawud).
Unity: It Starts With U (Part 2 of 5)…
Many years ago, my father said something to me that was deeply connected to what the prophet said. It has influenced my work in psychology. He was telling me of a man who had become Muslim, but had improper development before reverting. He said of the person “he felt like a nobody before entering Islam, and after reverting, he still acts like a nobody.” Abu Hurairah (r) narrated that the Prophet (s) said, “Those who were the best in the pre-lslamic period of ignorance will be the best in Islam provided they comprehend the religious knowledge.” (Bukhari 4/572 and Muslim). I have heard amazing stories of change. What connects all those stories is the people wanted the change for themselves first.
Knowledge and Muslim Masculinity…
The key to completing Muslim Masculinity is having the knowledge of self. The Prophet (s) said that "No man knows himself better than he does." The next level of knowledge is having the knowledge to some degree of the tangible and physical created things. The next level of knowledge is when there is knowledge of the metaphysical and the unseen created things, which brings you to the last level of knowledge which is the knowledge of God, Allah, who created and defined masculinity for all men on earth.
Male Bonding and Muslim Masculinity…
I was talking to some brothers yesterday and eventually we got onto the subject of the struggles of being married and Muslim Masculinity. I guess you could call it Male Bonding. I had some extra time this past weekend so I went to the local Muslim Owned restaurant called the Fish Dock. I stayed there for most of the day which was about 5pm to 11:30pm. We started discussing community issues and then it blended into personal lives.
How to Treat a Woman…
I do not profess to be an expert on Women. I doubt that anyone except Allah would claim that with confidence. But I do know how to treat a woman. There are a few basics to keep in mind that most people forget. These points are things that I have experienced throughout my lifetime through talking to people, taking in experiences, studying, reading, researching, and simply living the natural trial and errors of life.
Hard Work
Hard work is something that is part of our destiny to our completion of Manhood. Putting hard work and making a difference in the world through your efforts is a trait that we as men must naturally have. Part of the emasculation that occurs in the impoverished and the minority communities is a lazy and bad work ethic. I am not talking about people who do not have jobs or are going through rough times. I am simply stating a mental and spiritual phase that unfortunately most of our brothers in humanity possess. We as men must move beyond our state as it is unhealthy for us to have other women, children and men who do not invest in our community or loved ones make decisions and provide for us.
The G Word
Eventually I was going to have to address this topic especially being a Mens Issues blog. That topic is gay males. My beliefs in terms of faith and principle are the foundation of my being opposed to the practice of homosexuality in both males and females. I understand and can sympathize that people can have feelings for others of the same sex. However the practice of same sex intimacy and relationships is where I am apposed to. One of the main reasons is that there is a severe lack of perpetuation or sustainability of the Human race. No reproduction comes out of it. Another reason is that homosexuality goes against the physiological and spiritual nature of Man. The clearest of proof is by simply observing your genitals. Your hands were created for you to use to grab things and eat. Your feet help you walk and kick and stand. Your nose is meant to smell things and your ears to hear and your eyes to see. Thus your penis was made to inject semen into a vagina, thus creating the beginnings of new life.
Fear and Responsibility
The way that we handle fear and responsibility are vital to our journey to the completion of our manhood. Both fear and responsibility are present inside all of us men, but what separates men from boys is how we deal with fear and how we handle our responsibility. I am defining fear as a chronic and potentially crippling avoidance to engage in someone or something. Merriam-Webster Online defines fear as an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger. I define fear as something different than being scared. Being scared can most certainly become a function or manifestation of fear, but it can also be something temporary.
Halim’s Masculine Development Model for Males and Men
Taken from my blog on Niyah
Let’s face it; most women do not know how to properly pick a man that is best for them since it’s an emotional decision in picking a partner (it almost always is). It’s like buying a house. You see the house and feel all these things and if it hits the heart a certain way. Then you want it and you already see it as being yours. The reality is that the house may have everything you want but not necessarily everything you need. The same goes with men. They may look great and have lots of money, but they may also not give two cents about you, your issues, feelings, your community, your family, and so on.
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