Masculinity Model
Emotional Control and Muslim Masculinity…
A man that can control himself can control his universe. Emotional control is arguably the most significant deficit we have within Muslim Masculinity on this planet. The globalization of western Euro-American culture confines most sentimental emotions into one manifestation: Anger. It does not seem to matter of a man is hurt, sad, depressed, anxious, scared or anything else. The acceptable way to maintain this deformed definition of masculinity is to be angry and act without reason.
Confidence & Arrogance (Part 1 of 2)…
Real men have confidence, not arrogance. They are two different things. The dangerous thing about the two constructs is that many times people perceive them to be the same thing from observing behavior. According to Webster's dictionary confidence is defined as: 1. A feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances 2. Faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way. So we see that there is a faith in one's abilities or situation. Arrogance is defined as: 1. An attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.
Unity: It Starts With U (Part 3 of 5)…
My father-in-law told me something wise one day. He said the problems the Muslims have today is because the Muslim males do not know how to be men. He said if the males were properly developed Muslim men, then the females would follow suit as it is the female’s nature to follow the one who desires her (the male). Properly developed men are those who are best to their families. Abu Hurairah (r) narrated that the Prophet (s) said: “Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.” (Tirmidhi 278, 628, 3264 and Abu Dawud).
Fortitude towards Islamic Masculinity…
Remember we talked about the difference between Islamic Masculinity and Muslim Masculinity. Islamic Masculinity is the goal, the endpoint where Allah wants us to be as men of his creation. Muslim masculinity is the road to get to that goal. A significant checkpoint on that road to the completion of manhood and the desirable state of Islamic Masculinity is Fortitude. Webster defines fortitude as strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage. It is the next step after a man attaches to and lives by his principles. Once a man has some principles, the next situation to occur is that those principles will be tested. This is where the adversity, pain, and other obstacles come into play. A man needs to have the internal strength to bear the burdens of these various tests of ones character. Once the principles are in place they must be assessed to determine how strong those principles are, thus determining how strong you are as a man.
Islamic Masculinity & Muslim Masculinity…
Islamic Masculinity and Muslim Masculinity are two different constructs the way that I see it. I see the former being the end goal and the latter as being the journey to get there. Islam and Islamic Masculinity does not need correcting or redefining. We simply need to make its definition clear to us as men and Muslims. When we have completed our manhood, then we simply eptomize what Islamic Masculinity is supposed to be. Muslim Masculinity on the other hand is a dynamic and an incessantly evolving state of manhood that is possessed by Muslims. That is deficient because human's and Human error is involved with that. Whereas Islam there is absolutely no error in it since Islam involves two things: Allah, and what God wants for his creation. Hopefully through Principles, Fortitude, Composure, and Submission, we may get there some day.
Knowledge and Muslim Masculinity…
The key to completing Muslim Masculinity is having the knowledge of self. The Prophet (s) said that "No man knows himself better than he does." The next level of knowledge is having the knowledge to some degree of the tangible and physical created things. The next level of knowledge is when there is knowledge of the metaphysical and the unseen created things, which brings you to the last level of knowledge which is the knowledge of God, Allah, who created and defined masculinity for all men on earth.
Quran and Muslim Masculinity…
It is the conclusion of the fouth day of Ramadan. After reading the Quran for a few hours today, it really is the definition of Muslim Masculinity. It is where we men are trying to aspire towards in the completion of our Manhood. When the wife of the Prophet (s) , Aisha (r) was asked (after the Prophet (s) had passed away), "What was the Prophet's (s) character like?" She simply said "He was a walking Quran." As far as I believe in my heart, every man should be like the Prophet (s) or they should die trying to be like him. He was simply the ultimate man. It is he (s) who I base the Masculine Development Model upon. Why would I pick anyone else?
Male Bonding and Muslim Masculinity…
I was talking to some brothers yesterday and eventually we got onto the subject of the struggles of being married and Muslim Masculinity. I guess you could call it Male Bonding. I had some extra time this past weekend so I went to the local Muslim Owned restaurant called the Fish Dock. I stayed there for most of the day which was about 5pm to 11:30pm. We started discussing community issues and then it blended into personal lives.
Anger and Muslim Masculinity…
"A person who is angered quickly shows a sign that their ego still has a grasp over them"
I found this saying to be one of the most profound statements that I have heard in a long time. Like many of us, I come from a family line that has a quick temper. Anger is something that I deal with and try to control to the best of my ability on a daily basis. The Muslim and Non Muslim men nowadays see anger as something very masculine, like it is a strength. I beg to differ. As stated in the masculine development model, the epitome of strength is self control. People can and do control others when they know what emotional buttons to push. It is arguably one of the most prominent ways that women with bad intent control men in detrimental ways.
How to Treat a Woman…
I do not profess to be an expert on Women. I doubt that anyone except Allah would claim that with confidence. But I do know how to treat a woman. There are a few basics to keep in mind that most people forget. These points are things that I have experienced throughout my lifetime through talking to people, taking in experiences, studying, reading, researching, and simply living the natural trial and errors of life.
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- A wife versus a girlfriend
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- Infatuation
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- Should a Woman Like You or Respect You?
- Strength
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- The Peace Model
- The Woman You Can Bring Home
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