Tests in life are pretty similar. They pull something out of us. For example with me intelligence is a sensitive area in my heart. So when someone I care about insults my intelligence, that is a big test for my heart. It is a test to see if my will gives in to the lower base desires of anger, arrogance, and hate. Will I lash out and scream at the person? Will I do something subtle to belittle them and make them hurt as much as I do inside? Will I hold it all in and resent them for a significant period of time? Or, can I just let it go? It sounds simple, like most things do, but for me, it's a very hard thing to do (I would imagine for others as well). Sometimes as a man, the hardest thing for us to do in the heat of the moment, is to do nothing at all.

Much of this has to do with Fortitude as we have discussed before. Tests are the urges and desires of yourself and others who take you away from the path to your Creator, the key to unlock the infinite secret behind your spiritual masculinity. Gravity will always pull down. Strength is defined by how much one can resist the pull. This past year was full of tests for me. Looking back, I truly got to see some of the baser parts of my self. I got to see how I function when I have fear. I got to see myself angry and resentful beyond my own imagination. I was privileged (yes, privileged) to see people blatantly try to deter me from my path to complete masculinity, and more importantly, my Creator. It was a trying time. It was one of those years where you sincerely wonder if your marriage will last, your career, everything.

Somehow, by the grace of God, we made it through. It was great preparation for what was to come. All tests are a preparation. They are a preparation right up to the end of your life. One could ask, "why so much preparation when you are going to die? Why so much preparation for the last second of your life?" The most important second of your life is not your first, but your last. Everything you do before you leave is a manifestation of what is to come. Your character is shown and defined by the last moments in your life. The last moments of what is in your heart, how you feel, the peace, the security, ther preparation to leave this world, that is the most important second of your life. All the tests, trials, and tribulations that we have spoken of are to prepare you, like packing items in a suitcase for a journey. This journey will take you to your true masculinity, your true self and your true creator. So do know that tests build your character. They build the internal paradise of peace brick by brick so that you will see the external one with utmost clarity.

©2012 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

What is in fact being tease by the woman and the life of this world is something that cannot be touched or held. It is the peace and pleasure of God. We as men are fooled by the notion that if you smoke this substance, if you lay with this woman, if you own this much stuff, then you will obtain that. This is completely false. So why do most of our brothers go along with this charade? It is a lack of spiritual sight. Everything in masculinity comes from the first stage of the Masculine Development Model: Principles. When a man holds certain principles then it gives the foundation for you to see the truth. Most of us have experienced that the truth of Allah is not as it seems to us. When we lack principles, then it takes away our vision and our spiritual foresight. We are no longer aware of things that make sense and start to rationalize things that do not make common sense. This is when we know we are being tantalized.
 

Life is just a tease. We make it a tease because we tease ourselves into this irrational thinking that if we indulge in something physical, then spiritual pleasure will be the result. Most people are conviced if you give them enoough money then, they will be happy in their heart. Muhammad S said that 'contentment is true wealth'. Contentment is the spiritual state of being pleased with what Allah has given us as human beings.  So no matter what we have as individuals, we should do our utmost to be happy with it, especially when God blesses us with abundance.  If we keep buying into the phony power of the almighty dollar, sexual encounter, drug, or power, then we will be in eternal tantalization and will never get the carrot at the end of the rope.

©2012 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

The beard is apart of Islamic Masculinity. However those who cannot grow a beard can also fall within that realm of Islamic Masculinity. The Prophet S said for us to grow and maintain our beards. He S did that himself. However, there are many interpretations in the schools of thought about what growing and maintaining a beard means. I do not intend to explore those arguements and nuances, but I wish to impress the point that we should submit and intend whatever the Prophet S intends for us to do. We have to understand that Islamic Masculinity is about the submission to something greater, and that greater being is God. When God tell us to obey Muhammad S, then we submit to that.

The intention to have a beard (in some capacity) is more masculine than NOT intending to have a beard (in some capacity). I know the trends and the women are saying that a beard is scratchy, primitive, nasty, hairy, and impure. I know a lot of brothers have legitimate fears that they will repel women or will not find the female of their dreams. I totally understand brothers, and I was very much in that state of mind not to long ago. Do know that Allah has someone laid out for you, and that person is the best one for you, though we may not percieve.

Do know that there are plenty of women who just want real men beard or no beard. We should focus more on our masculinity than how we appear to people. So long as we are modest and clean and respectful in our demeanor, that will speak volumes more that having the sparkling 360's, tight muscle shirts and extra loose pants. Do know my brothers, that if your pants are loose, be they on your skin or in your heart, then women who are loose in their modesty will draw to you.

So wear your beard, however you like to, but wear it and submit your pride and yourself to the order of Allah and the Prophet S, a man that loves you more that you love yourself, though we do not perceive. At the same time, do not call your Muslim brothers kafir if they do not have or wear beards. Do not condemn people to the fires of Hell, especially if you cannot guarantee immunity from the fire that burns forever. Let us focus on important things like hmm.... lets see... I know.... Praying five times a day!

Part of Islamic Masculinity is the submission of everything we do in our life and all that is in our spirit. So we wear our beards with pride, and more importantly (because Allah said it was the most important thing) praying to him. Treat the people with respect and good character, wheather you have a beard or not because those things are incumbent upon you. Focusing on hairs upon your face is Muslim Masculinity, but wearing those hairs the way the Prophet S did and the submission to God's command to obey his most beloved creation, that, my brothers is Islamic Masculinity.

©2012 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

My professor was telling me a story of an extreme case of this entitlement. He was at the gas station and there were a couple young guys. There was also a young lady. They all were around college aged. the young lady walks by the young man. As most people do in this society, we walk by many people without greeting them or acknowledging them especially when we are in the middle of doing something. This young lady did the same thing to the guy, just simply walked by. I guess since the young lady was attractive to the young man, the man got really angry. In fact, he was enfuriated. When I first heard this, it baffled me . It confused me so much that I honestly did not know what the guy was angry about. This guy was so angry that when he, his friend and the young lady were outside, he started yelling at her in public! He admonished her about walking by without any acknowledgement. She graciously deflected him, but after hearing that story, I am overwhelmed with negative emotions concerning our state of masculinity in this generation.

The level of immaturity that stemmed from entitlement is astronomical! These ideas that any woman who looks good is required to talk to a dude is absolutely obsurd. When I grew up, men earned attention from women. If someone walked by without saying anything, then nothing personal or negative was interpreted. It seems that these poisons from the media are injecting these ideas into male and female minds. So let us set the record straight using Halim's Masculine Development model. Men, males, my brothers, you are not entitled to crap! This is your first principle. The only thing a male is entitled to is basic human respect and decency. That is on the condition that you show it to other members of the human family.

This is the principle that needs to be instilled into our males rather than exploding when someone attractive does not give you the attention you deserve. If a male stays down that road in life, then they will surely spell their own demise sooner than later. True Islamic Masculinity is living your life knowing everything is a blessing from God. You know that everything good that happens to you is something that you do not deserve. You feel as if it is a manifestation of Allah's love for you. When something bad happens to you, then you know that it is a situation that God is using that will make you stronger. Either way, you continually develop in your manhood. Do not feel entitled to stuff, even though you may do a lot to help the people. Do know that God is entitled to infinitely more you we can ever imagine. All he wants from us my brothers is to live in servitude to Him, not feel entitled to his services. Our submission to the creator is what gives us a power and bounties that supercede the imagination of anyone. This all occurs when we rid ourselves of the entitilement in our hearts.

©2012 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

When God speaks of certain things happening to men, He, many times gives us a story. What we must understand is that this story is an indicator of what will happen to people who are like those men he speaks about. In other words, that is a sign for our destiny. The word of God is alive. But it is not alive in the manner that we percieve life. It is alive in an infinitely deeper way than we can perceive. The word of God is our destiny. However, destiny is infinite, so how does that apply to us as men?

God has given us the ability to choose which category of destiny that we want to be in. If you think about it, there are formulas in science. The purpose of a formula is to show the relationship between different things through symbols.  Thus, if you combine 2 and 2, then on the other side, you get 4.  Destiny works in a similar fashion. God says in the Quran "Is there any reward for good, other than good?" So if one does good on one side, then good will happen to him on the other side. Now we all hear this saying, "why to bad things happen to good people?" My question would be, why do we perceive it as such? Nothing bad ever happens to those who do good. The 'bad' things that we pereive happening are a test from Allah to bring that person closer or it may be a cleansing of previous sins out of God's love for us, or it can be people with corruption in their hearts acting with ill will. I would not say bad things happen to good people. I would say bad people happen to good people. This is because bad people have to the choice to be bad, but no matter what they do, it still elevates the good people closer to God.

The examples of bad people acting upon the best of people are endless. In fact, the better you are, the more malice comes at you. This is apart of destiny. As men, we must develop to put ourselves in the best of categories. Then we will be given our responsibility as human beings to maintain and care for the creation as Allah told us. Let us look at the five greatest people and what bad people tried to do to them. Imagine being mocked and ridiculed by your own people for over 900 years. Thats what Noah went through in trying to bring the truth. Imagine your own father and family along with your own people in your village making a fire so big, that it burned the birds flying in the air. Imagine if they made that fire just to throw you in because you told your people there is one God. This is what happened to Abraham.

Imagine your whole country trying to kill you because you stopped a man from beating up a poor man. Imagine having to walk, yes walk from Cairo to Jerusalem. This is what Moses had to do. Imagine after curing people and telling them the truth, your people try to crucify you, and you have evil people trying to infultrate your disciples. This is what Christ Jesus went through. Imagine going through all the above and losing your father before you were born and your mother when you were six, your true love and your father figure in the same year, lose ALL of your sons, your brave uncle. Imagine losing all of those people and risking your life constantly through onslaughts of your enemies because you tell the people there is one God. This and so much more is what Muhammad (peace be on him) went through. People who were not prophets, but were elevated in their faith went through the same things. The french threw Amadou Bamba (one of the greatest scholars in W. African history)  in a fire, but it did not kill him. Nor did it kill him when they threw him at lions and other predators (they miraculously became tame for him). They firebombed Malcolm X's home. They whipped chunks of skin off of Ahmad ibn Hanbal (r).  Bad people poison, jail, blackmail, assassinate, and whatever else it takes so good cannot exist in the world.

This is destinty. Allah has certain things happen to us because it is his word and his promise. Our choice comes into play by choosing which category (or 'adventure' we want to have) through developing our selves and our masculinity.  The adventure we choose is up to us. How it plays out and wheather or not we choose to stay in that adventure is also up to us. The elevation and supremacy over the creation that we will have, and the status in the garden of Eden with all other elevated men and women, we will let God take care of that. Do know that if we try as hard as we can, Allah and destiny will have our backs.

©2012 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

Why males and not females? It is because of our nature. The nature of man is to protect the spirit, mind and body of a woman. The nature of the woman is to support man and inject beauty and life into the relationship between male and female, and into the world. Most of the problems you see in females are direct or strongly connected effect of corrupt males. For example, our perception of beauty in western cultures. The male perception of beauty and attractiveness is corrupted by the undying lusts within our carnal desire. We want women to show more skin. Once they show us all their skin we want them to fulfill our every fantasy. Once that is done enough times, we have no use for them anymore and repeat the same process with another woman, and another after that. The women buy in because their nature is the need to be seen as beautiful and inject beauty in the world. The males buy in because out of their lust, they want to see more and more. There are billions of dollars in this cycle and people are greedy, which then leads to more evils. This started because males did not control themselves.

If you are a man, and you have a corrupt woman in your life, then first, stop whining about her and change yourself! I used to be of those who whined. Then I talked to another man and he put some things in perspective for me on this issue. I came to realize that if you want to make things better in your relationship, then you need to change yourself for the better. If the woman is still full of malice, then you need to part ways. Not everyone in love needs to spend their whole life together. Not everyone in love needs to be together.

Though the source of all problems with the world are with corrupt males, women can do something to change this situation as well. The most important thing a woman can do is choose a man that respects her. That means if he does things that make you feel uncomfortable and worthless, then do know that in some way he is corrupting your spirit. As for the males, to change the situation of the world to be better, you simply need to show another male how to be a man. If you do not know how, then seek out another real man and learn from him. We have defined in previous entries what a real man is. So seek that out, perpetuate it and you will begin to see change throughout the world.

A final example that embodies why males are the source of all problems. Imagine Fort Knox, or some huge place where locked inside of it are treasures of the world (gold, silver, platinum, etc.) If someone were to break into the place and take some of the treasures or corrupt it or damage it, then what would you place fault upon? No one in their right mind would blame the gold. You would say there was a lack of security or a hole in the protection system. The treasure is the woman and is not to be blamed for the corruptions in the world. The security system is the male and deserves the blame. Proper development will fend off all types of corruptions. Thus, Males developed into real men will obliterate the source of most world problems.

©2012 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

When we do our proper acts of worship, such as the prayer, then Allah gives our soul a different perspective of life. We start to feel differently about things. We start to believe the reality that we have more control over our lives. Things start to have a rhythm and flow in a certain direction. When situations occur, we do not see them as disconnected or mere anomalies of nature. We start to see the events in our life as a theme of our development. Let us remember Halim's Masculine Development model. Certain things happen to people who are developing the first stage which is our principles. Different events will occur when we are in the next phase being Fortitude. Self Control is about the third stage, which is Composure.

Composure is complete self control. It is the ability to control all things within ourself. In doing so, wer are given more responsibility towards the other creation including people. The most important thing we must control is the spritiual desire within ourselves. This part of ourself is called the Nafs. The Nafs is the part of ourselves that has an infinite level of greed and desire. It is the 'monster' within us. It is the source of our lust, our sloth, our gluttony, and our arrogance which will lead to hate of all things and ultimately, hatred of ourselves. It also seats the baser emotions like anger, jealousy, our malice, violent imagery. The pure emotions come from the pure and good part of ourselves like pure joy and happiness, sadness, fear, pain, love, etc.

The more that we sin, the less control we will have in our lives. This is because our Nafs will gain more power over ourselves. We will start to have a corrupted lens of the world and its people. We will then start to feel that the world hates us or is out to get us when in fact it is we who hate ourselves. This is where distorted displays of manhood start to show themselves. It is because we do not know how to show power, strength, and control with humility. We buy in to the society's definition of strength and masculine. Through the sinning of others, they influence the definitions that we have of ourselves. In fact, it should be ourselves that influence others. The anger, the anxiety, and other manifestations of fear are signs that we possess little control over ourselves. The way to acheive this is to worship, pray, and look at all things as connected. Once we put our faith in Allah, our situation will change for the better. We will experience a deeper level of calm. Others will have that experience when they are around us. When we gain more control of ourselves, we will have control over everything.

©2012 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

There is a tremendous amount of wisdom and lessons that can be taken from this statement. There are things that happen inside of us that lead us to say bad things or useless things. In this statement the Prophet S guided us to have control over the gateway of emitting the tests that we have inside ourselves. That is to say, we may get angry or feel wronged or slighted. We may even be right, but the Prophet S instructed us to guard the tongue that conveys and spreads that negativity all over. This shows us that Allah will test us on the inside. That is inevitable. However, it is what we do with the tests that we have on the inside that we are judged for.

The same goes for our private parts. The Prophet S did not say "do not be attracted to women." He said to guard our genitals. Its not the attraction that is the sin. It is act we do because of our attraction. This puts the owership of salvation into our hands which is very healthy for us as men as we want to possess as much control over our destiny as possible. Sometimes the urge may seem unstoppable and impossible to resist. For some of us, it may approach that status, but most of us know deep down, there is something deeper. The proof is this: after you are done having satisfying sex, then what do you think about? Is your mind revolving around the next time you will have sex or does your mind wander to other matters? For most of us, we mentally move on from that act until the next time we are in a state of sexual arousal.

The control over these two simple pieces of flesh will guarantee us paradise. This is for a reason. It is not easy to contain the urges that flow out of these two parts of our anatomy.

©2012 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

We are taught to do four things to maintain our self control. In the next entry we will speak in detail about how controlling these four things will unlock ourselves to self control. These four things are making sure we eat less, sleep less, talk less (frivolously), and socialize less (frivolously). When a man can control these four things, then he is well on his way to total self control.

©2012 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.

©2012 Halim Naeem.com. All Rights Reserved.