Halim Naeem.com

Thought of the day #100203…

halim — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 17:15:09 +0000

It is sad, very sad that we have been conditioned to have a "simply business" oriented relationship with persons, and a "personal" and even intimate relationship with our money and possessions. The real commodity is the soul of the human race. For the human generates value, resource and blessing into everything s(he) comes into contact with. Greed will only lead us to being lonely in this life and the next life. We will have our possessions and no one to spend it from, for, or with. Alas, we are in manifest error.

Emotional Control and Muslim Masculinity…

halim — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 14:48:36 +0000

A man that can control himself can control his universe. Emotional control is arguably the most significant deficit we have within Muslim Masculinity on this planet. The globalization of western Euro-American culture confines most sentimental emotions into one manifestation: Anger. It does not seem to matter of a man is hurt, sad, depressed, anxious, scared or anything else. The acceptable way to maintain this deformed definition of masculinity is to be angry and act without reason.

We blame our primitive behavior on our anger which does no good towards our personal and masculine development. Many of our males say that they have a short temper or are quick to be angered as if it is some type of strength. It most certainly is not a strength to be angered almost instantly. The Prophet (s) was approached by a man. The man asked the Prophet (s) for some advice to develop his faith. The Prophet (s) said "do not get angry." Then the man asked for some other advice, the Prophet (s) again said "do not get angry." The same thing happened for a third time as well. Many lessons come out of this. I can name a few.

The Prophet (s) got angry many times in his life. His (s) anger and the anger of most males in this day are completely different. The Prophet (s) was not angered on his own accord. His (s) anger was coming from someone knowing violating the faith that Allah set out for the world. Most of us get angry because of something selfish such as our own feelings or whims. Anger is not bad, it is a very good and useful tool to fire up the soul towards something good, be it defending the people, the religion, and under proper circumstances, defending the self. Anger should be used in the proper portions. A human being cannot thrive and be angry continuously. A human being can love, hope, appreciate, care and be happy continuously and thrive.

These are emotions which connect us to the creation. Anger is an emotion that isolates. Be it that we isolate ourselves from others or a small group or band of people towards others. The point of anger is a disconnect between one thing and the other. A man who can have control of the internal fire that is his anger can control many other aspects of his life. Since most men cannot control themselves, we compensate our lack of control for showing how much tangible power and ownership over things we possess in the world. The need for compensating means that there is something missing. What is missing is that naturally as Human Beings we have to have a control over our internal system. Failure to do so results in an imbalance in the person's nature and the nature of things around the person.

We must do as the prophet (s) said when we get angry. The first thing is to perform abolution as water can wipe out the fire that is our anger. If we are still angry, then we are to sit down. If we are still angry, we then are to lay down. Stupid things happen when a man is standing up and active while being angred. The Prophet (s) brilliantly shows to the constant act of trying to control oneself by making abolution, sitting and laying. While those acts in themselves may not completely rid us of our anger, we have demonstrated some level of self control within our physical actions. Hopefully from that first step towards the control that we are supposed to demonstrate as properly developed men.

Quote of the day #091227

halim — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 05:37:00 +0000

Manhood is not simply power. It is the power to bring balance to the creation.

Quote of the Day 091225…

halim — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 02:12:51 +0000

When a man has something to live for, he also has something to die for.

Quote of the Day #091224

halim — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 06:41:43 +0000

Dreams are the only thing that make life real.

Confidence & Arrogance (Part 1 of 2)…

halim — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 21:48:19 +0000

Real men have confidence, not arrogance. They are two different things. The dangerous thing about the two constructs is that many times people perceive them to be the same thing from observing behavior. According to Webster's dictionary confidence is defined as: 1. A feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances 2. Faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way. So we see that there is a faith in one's abilities or situation. Arrogance is defined as: 1. An attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.

We have been placed on this planet as representatives of Allah towards the creation. Every position of leadership is to represent and serve a certain contingency of other people. All leaders represent something or someone. What happens to most leaders is that leaders let their position get to their corrupted part of their soul. Leaders begin to think that they are in no need of the people or contingencies that they in fact are supposed to represent. We do the same thing towards God. We are placed here to represent what Allah does to the creation which is unconditionally benefit and prosper all that is around us. We have capabilities that enable us to conquer what is around us, and since we can do so, we engage in that behavior. We fall further into that corruption to a point where we neither are concious of God, nor do we even think that we are in need of Him. This is what we call arrogance.

Confidence functions like hope or faith in oneself and the abilities that are bestowed onto us. This proper context of confidence is not outside the realm of dependency on God. We still need Allah. We still look to him for help. At the same time, we still have faith that we can accomplish a task set out for us. For example, when I was younger (about 10 years old) I played on a football team. Every Saturday for two mothns I would go out with my team and compete against another team. Allah bestowed upon me and many of my other teammates a high level of talent in football for kids that age. So I would pray to God before each game to aid us in victory. At the same time, I also had a high level of confidence going into each game that we were going to win. This confidence was not without Allah's help, but it was a faith that my team and I were given something by God to defeat the opposing team. Arrogance is different in that a person would feel that they do not need the help of God or anyone else to win. They would feel that their ability was their own and is inherently better than most or even all others. Real men are confident, not arrogant.

We as men get pushed, urged, and seduced into being arrogant seemingly by every form or media (including people). Nearly all of us fall into it because in our distorted perception of manhood, we have fallen into thinking that this is a form of strength. Let us remember from the Masculine Development Model that the second step after having principles is possessing the fortitude to withstand all the forces that aim to diminish the principles we have. Ultimate strength is the control over self. When one can completely control the self, then no one can control him save God. This is because the only principles that can withstand the natural deviants and poisons of our Human Nature are the Principles of Allah. The higher the level and more developed one becomes on this path to masculinity, the more of the world that will be subjugated to him. It will be subjugated to him to spread mercy and not oppression.

Unity: It begins with U (Part 5 of 5)…

halim — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:42:29 +0000

We must realize the potential that Allah put in each of us to be his representatives on this planet and act out his will by bringing peace and unity to all the creation. Sustaining harmony in nature without abusing Allah’s creatures is how we provide unity to the creation. We must separate the evil forces within our souls and purify ourselves with the word of Allah. Our men need to be real men and show other males how to develop into men. Our women must do the same to the female.

We must be less selfish and more giving. We must be less arrogant and more humble. We bond in harmony with Allah’s creation through developing ourselves towards submitting to Allah. The angels and all the positive unseen forces will support the believers as will the rest of creation when we strive together to hold the rope of Allah. Perhaps we will experience unity in brotherhood and sisterhood that provides a sweetness in our being unlike anything the creation can offer. Perhaps we can experience this before we stand before Allah.

The Prophet (s) gave the clear and profound solution: Anas relates that the Prophet (s) said: “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” [Sahîh al-Bukhari and Sahîh Muslim]. When we follow that in every facet of our life, we will achieve the unity we seek. How does that unity look? The Prophet (s) shows that unity in his a profound portion of his last sermon. “All humankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab. Also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Know that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing should be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly. Do not, therefore, do injustice to yourselves. “ This is the vision for our community from the Prophet (s). When we work on ourselves to be capable of embodying that statement, then we will find our whole community united.

Unity: It Starts with U (Part 4 of 5)…

halim — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 05:06:41 +0000

There is great news. Even though there is division within the Muslims, the great news is that a portion of the Muslim Ummah is united and will always be united. Allah says so in the Quran about this section of Muslims called Mu’minoon (believers). Allah says in the 49th chapter (Al Hujarat) in the 10th verse: The Believers are but a single Brotherhood: So make peace and harmony between your two (contending) brothers; and fear Allah, that ye may receive Mercy. Allah declares that we are always united if we are believers.

Mu’minoon are those who have attained faith, which is different than a Muslim. Allah says in the 49th chapter (Hujarat) verse 14: The desert Arabs say, "We believe." Say, "Ye have no faith; but ye (only) say, 'We have submitted our wills to Allah.' For not yet has Faith entered your hearts. But if ye obey Allah and His Messenger, He will not belittle aught of your deeds: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." Mu’minoon is in a much higher league than a Muslim. There are characteristics of spiritual development in a Mu’min that is different from a Muslim’s. One of those characteristics we have already discussed in that a believer never backbites. However, Muslims do backbite. It is a sin and we should ask forgiveness, but we are still Muslim if we do it. A believer stops being a believer if he does such an act. Lying is an act that a believer cannot perform. A Muslim however, can stay Muslim and lie. It is a sin, but again we are still Muslim. The list goes on. What you have are two different types of people.

There are two different levels of submissions to Allah. When we submit to Allah at the level of a Mu’min, then we automatically have the characteristics and requirements fulfilled to enter the house clean and pure. Further, we will speak of the good things in the house and remain silent about the bad since the Iman in our heart is thankful that Allah has put us in such a situation. Thus, the believers are united as Allah has said many times. We should pray that we join the community of the believers.

Unity: It Starts With U (Part 3 of 5)…

halim — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:21:21 +0000

My father-in-law told me something wise one day. He said the problems the Muslims have today is because the Muslim males do not know how to be men. He said if the males were properly developed Muslim men, then the females would follow suit as it is the female’s nature to follow the one who desires her (the male). Properly developed men are those who are best to their families. Abu Hurairah (r) narrated that the Prophet (s) said: “Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.” (Tirmidhi 278, 628, 3264 and Abu Dawud).

Our males who act tough yet have little esteem and confidence in themselves and their lord can perpetuate astronomical amounts of division and destruction. This is because the method of filling the void inside ourselves has no blessing in it. It goes against what the way Allah told us to change our condition. The women become an expression of our own wishes. If we do not keep ourselves modest and chaste, then our women will reflect that condition. People make their own decisions, but most choose to follow their own desires. One of the signs of following our own desires is leaving the way of the Prophet (s) and point the finger by spewing negativity into the world. It does not unite us, further it leaves us in a spiritually stagnant state, which is where Shaytan would like us to remain for eternity.

The solution to become united is clear. We get rid of our own filth inside ourselves. That means leave the sins that we know we do. We need to perform our five pillars to the utmost perfection we can give it. We then should leave that which Allah and his Prophet emphatically forbade. If that stage is reached, then we should begin doing the acts that Allah and his prophet believed desirable. Always remember, the strength of a building, like our pillars we have in Islam is not in the outside, it is the strength built within. Verily (as the Prophet (s) is oft quoted) our actions are judged based on our intentions (Bukhari & Muslim). So whoever goes on this journey to please Allah, then he will get what he wants. Whoever goes on this journey for a woman, he will get what he wants. Make sure the intents are pure before going down the path of development. Remember, we cannot reach our potential without the help of Allah.

This development takes time and it takes a tremendous amount of humility because we find out how much dirt is inside. This is why Allah said in the first chapter (Al Fatihah) and fifth verse: “You alone we worship and you alone we come to for help.” He also said in the 103rd chapter (Al Asr) in the first and second verse: “By time; verily mankind is at a loss.” My brothers and sisters, we are at a loss. This is our nature: to be at a loss without Allah. So do not be discouraged and feel too bad to come back to Allah for Allah is ever and infinitely merciful and He wants you to need Him. He created us to be united in our need of Him. When we feel like we do not need others and can sit on our so-called stools of piety and point fingers, it will only corrupt ourselves. We must rise above that, men and women to something better.

Unity: It Starts With U (Part 2 of 5)…

halim — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 03:06:06 +0000

Many years ago, my father said something to me that was deeply connected to what the prophet said. It has influenced my work in psychology. He was telling me of a man who had become Muslim, but had improper development before reverting. He said of the person “he felt like a nobody before entering Islam, and after reverting, he still acts like a nobody.” Abu Hurairah (r) narrated that the Prophet (s) said, “Those who were the best in the pre-lslamic period of ignorance will be the best in Islam provided they comprehend the religious knowledge.” (Bukhari 4/572 and Muslim). I have heard amazing stories of change. What connects all those stories is the people wanted the change for themselves first.

Islam gives the ability to the person should they chose to do what Allah said and change the condition of their own hearts. Let us remember Islam is a peaceful submission to Allah, thus we bear witness there is No God but Allah and Muhammad (s) is his messenger. If we do not come in willing to submit to Allah and his will on us, then we will never reach the potential Islam can offer us. We bring in too much baggage and corruption. It’s like a person who has not bathed and wears musty clothes going into a neighbor’s house. Further, the person with the repulsive stench begins to say how bad the house smells in the house and chastises the owners for not taking care of the house! This is what we do every day when we speak ill of our community with low development. We bring our own baggage, deny there are smelly things inside ourselves, and then we speak about the corrupted affairs of a community we have the privilege of belonging to.

We submit to either one of two categories: the Creator or the created. Either way, everyone you see walking has submitted to something. It is our nature as humanity and as the creation of Allah to submit. The Prophet Muhammad said, "No babe is born but upon Fitra (as a Muslim). It is his parents who make him a Jew or a Christian or a Polytheist." (Sahih Muslim, Book 033, Number 6426). This is why we are Muslims when we are born. If we do not submit to Allah and become his representatives on this planet, then nothing in the creation submits and cooperates with us. Both male and female unite in their submission to the creator. When we cause division within ourselves as men, we deviate in our nature. Further, everything in nature deviates in how it attaches to us. There is no longer any blessing or unity in the system of creation. Thus we have women now showing some skin and conquering males’ physical whims. On the other side, we have men violating female innocence to fulfill carnal wants by expressing whatever levels of intimacy with females necessary. We men have no right to talk about the failings of others and the community when we have not conquered our own demons. Anas bin Malik (r) narrated that the Prophet (s) said, "Make things easy for the people, and do not make it difficult for them, and make them calm (with glad tidings) and do not repulse (them).” (Bukhari, 8/146).